Free conversation guide

The 5-minute tech talk, by age

Five conversation starters per age group, designed to be used in five minutes at the school run, dinner table or bedtime. Pick one. Ask it. Listen for twice as long as you talk. The first conversation is rarely the important one. The fact that you started one is.

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DigitalParents.AI

Free printable resource

digitalparents.ai/free/five-minute-tech-talk

How to use it

  1. Find the age group closest to your child below.
  2. Pick one starter. Read it before you ask it so it sounds like you, not a script.
  3. Listen for twice as long as you talk. Resist the urge to fix or warn.
  4. Save the others for the next four conversations. One a week is plenty.
Ages 5 to 7

At this age, the conversation is about wonder and safety, not risk. Curiosity questions, not warnings. You are setting the pattern that you are someone they can talk to about anything they see.

  1. 1Did anything funny happen on the screen today? What was it about?
  2. 2If a video looked scary or weird, would you tell me? What words would you use?
  3. 3Who are the people in the games you play? Have you met them in real life?
  4. 4What was the favourite thing you watched today? What did you like about it?
  5. 5If a button or message popped up that you did not understand, what would you do?
Ages 8 to 10

Your child is starting to find their way through online spaces with their friends. The aim is to stay close to the conversation without taking over. Be the parent they want to tell, not the one they have to manage.

  1. 1What is the one app or game your friends are all using right now? What do they actually do on it?
  2. 2Has anyone said something online that made you feel weird? You do not have to tell me what they said, just whether it happened.
  3. 3If you saw something that looked too old for you, what would you do? What would feel hard about telling me?
  4. 4What is one thing you wish I understood better about your online life?
  5. 5If I asked to look through your apps with you (not snooping, just curious), what would feel okay and what would not?
Ages 11 to 13

This is the age where openness narrows fast unless you actively keep it wide. Avoid leading questions. Reward honesty even when you don't love the answer. Relationship is the protection layer now.

  1. 1If you saw something online today that you would rather I did not know about, what would make it easier to tell me anyway?
  2. 2What is the difference between someone you call a friend in real life and someone you call a friend online?
  3. 3Who is the person you follow most who you are sure has no idea you exist? What do they post that makes you keep watching?
  4. 4If a friend was being treated badly in a group chat, what would actually feel possible for you to do?
  5. 5What is one thing you would change about the way I talk to you about phones and online stuff?
Ages 14 plus

The script flips. They know things about online culture you do not. Lead with curiosity about their world, not management of it. Your job is to stay someone they would call from a difficult situation, not someone they would hide it from.

  1. 1Tell me about a creator or account you genuinely respect. What do they get right?
  2. 2What is something you have seen online recently that has shifted how you think about something? It does not have to be deep.
  3. 3If something was happening to a friend that scared you (not them, a friend), what would stop you telling me?
  4. 4What is one thing you wish parents in general understood about being your age online right now?
  5. 5If you ever needed to leave a situation (online or in person) and needed me to come and get you no questions asked, what is the codeword?

If a conversation goes nowhere

Most do, the first time. That is not a failure. That is your child learning that the door is open. Try again next week, with a different starter, in a different moment. The car, the walk to school and the kitchen at night are usually better than the dinner table.

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